I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize