You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
