You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
