Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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