THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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