I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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