I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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