It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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