More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize