I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
