i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
