some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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