This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
