Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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