Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize