and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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