Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
