I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
