He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
