mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize