I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
