Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
