like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
