I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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