tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
