Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
