Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
