No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize