He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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