i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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