What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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