hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
