yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
