I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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