I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
