what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
