I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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