i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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