i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
