i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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