addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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