Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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