I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize