I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
