the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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