I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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