Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
