do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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