she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
