i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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