Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
