I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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