i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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