at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
