Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
