I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
