i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
