But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize