she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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