what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
