Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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