I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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