Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
