Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so explain again why im purple
no
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
